JugoNinaŠik
Today is May 3, 2023. Nina, how are you?
I'm fine. It doesn't feel like a May day to me.
You have some interesting things in your hands that are part of your life. These are lights that belong to history. You recreate their life. Is there someone in your life who inspired you to appreciate old things?
That's an interesting question. I wasn't really exposed to old things in my life. When my family moved to a new house when I was 14, I got a new room. It took me some time to adjust. To make it easier for me to adapt to the new environment, I brought my old room into my new room. The new room had custom-made furniture but I still managed to fit in the old shelf and dressers. It was important to me to be surrounded by my old room. I created a safe environment for myself.
What did your old room as a safe environment mean to you? What kind of safe environment was it?
I was used to the old room. I grew up in it. It was my space.
If you were to say about yourself, "I am Nina, and please understand me, Gregor, that I am the way I am because certain events have shaped me." What events in your life have made you the person you are today?
I lived in Istanbul for a while. I explored and observed a lot there. That period has shaped me and is still inspiring me. I loved the city, its chaos and at the same time its balance. I initially went to Istanbul as a student of architecture, and then I kept going back because I met a person there with whom I had a romantic relationship for five years.
You were in a romantic relationship with a guy from Istanbul for five years. Do you miss him?
I am grateful for the time we spent together.
If we continue in this direction, what is love for you? What does love mean to you?
Love, for me, is a connection, a bond, closeness. It's the way we behave towards each other. I dance tango and in tango, connection is found within an embrace. With the lights I create, I seek for the connection between the elements that I resassemble back in different combinations in order for these parts to come alive together again.
You create your lights with love. Is that your message?
I think love is also an attitude. The disassembled elements attract me because of their material, shape, place where I found them, to whom they belonged, a story behind them,… So I look for beauty and quality in each element and try to emphasize it. I search for elements that go well together. Some parts don't go well with others, some pieces don't match. I am limited in my choices, which motivates me.
After working together and taking photos, my feeling is that you are a gentle and loving person. Who taught you the skill of love? Were it your parents, or did you learn it on your own?
Everything goes back to family.
Did one of your parents provide unconditional love for you?
I'm thinking about how to answer. You're asking me some psychotherapeutic questions :)
Let me explain. There are questions that psychotherapists ask to understand you and provide help. My intention is to understand who you are and why and how you create what you create. I'm interested in how you came up with this idea and how you infuse light into your creations. In my opinion, if I may express my thoughts, someone must have loved you deeply, and you also missed love from someone.
You already answered that yourself. My parents loved me very much, but at the same time, I missed a genuine connection with them. They were quite strict parents, acting with the belief that they should protect me from getting lost or going astray. They encouraged me to excel in school, and I surpassed their expectations with excellence. Their worries were in vain.
Today I think I can understand what was behind their worries. They lost their first child shortly after birth giving. Their pain was enormous, they felt alone with it and at the same time they didn't want to put its weight on me or my sister. We knew about it, felt it and wanted to help in our own way. Maybe it was their unspoken pain that stood in the way of our connection even though they loved us deeply. In love, there should be place to express all of your feelings, including sadness.
Do you feel like you accommodated them a lot?
I think so. Holding to success felt secure. I was an excellent student in primary school, excelling in all areas. Everything I undertook, I did with distinction. My parents were proud, and teachers signed me up for competitions. In this process, all of us lost sight of what I truly wanted to do, what interested me. I don't know why I was always able to achieve such results. Looking back, this part of my life greatly influenced me because it alienated me from my peers and surroundings. At the same time, I wasn't proud of my accomplishments. I believed that because I was able do it, I had to do it. I stood out from the average. Even regarding my studies, I initially considered enrolling in an art academy, but then I chose architecture.
I understand you because I was an overachiever myself. I achieved remarkable success in sports and academics. Yet, I couldn't appreciate it. I came to the realization that I couldn't appreciate my successes because I wasn't successful for myself. I was successful for my parents. Can you relate to that?
Absolutely.
In this relationship, I see your world of creation. We took 30 of your creations and created a completely unique creative space. Could this be your realm of success that you will appreciate differently than you have appreciated your achievements so far?
To be surrounded with lamps floating in the darkness we set up for the photo shooting, was a truly beautiful experience, it felt like a dream. I believe that what I do now, it's the right path. I appreciate my work and truly care about it. I have dedicated myself to it, and I feel that it is mine, and I want to derive my future from it. At the same time, I have felt a sense of relief within myself for finding my place, something that interests me. Of course, on my journey, I still sometimes notice that I tend to fulfill the expectations of others. However, recently I have been feeling more grounded within myself.
You have found something that is truly yours. The process was not easy. You accepted the expectations of your parents and the environment and got lost in it. Now, you create environments for other people, collaborate with organizations, and create environments with your products. You bring your safe space into the world with a heartfelt approach.
Once, someone asked me what I, as an architect, strive for, and I replied: a place under the sun. There is a place under the sun for everyone. If I can contribute to that, open up or indicate that space, I feel fulfilled.
You can understand and support that because you have lived in your own shadow for a long time. You were not seen and understood for who you are. Your needs were not heard, but you were adept at listening to the needs of others. You developed a relationship with the world through emotions of compassion and attentive observation. At this moment, you have found a way to shine and show your inner light through your creations. I wish you great success. One final question. The path you have created for yourself, you encounter yourself and explore who you are? If you could whisper a sentence into the ear of every single person in the world, what would you say?
Every expression of each individual, shown to the world, is valuable, precious, and genuine. There is a place under the sun for everyone.
Thank you Nina.
Thank you Gregor for opening up that space in your own way.
